Life is a journey of many ups and downs. It’s what you do when life gets hard that determines and builds your true character. Life is filled with so many challenges but we know it is also filled with rewards, celebrations, and great accomplishments.
No one is successful at everything, just as no one fails at everything. We all have at least one thing we are or can be good at doing. However, when we go through the challenging phases, we often dwell more on the bad experiences and end up feeling self-loathing and disappointment in our abilities to succeed. I know this too well, as I continue to deal each day with my depression.
Pitfalls are a part of life, whether we like it or not. Whether you’re a new or seasoned entrepreneur, high school or college student, newly entering the work force, newly starting a business, or just simply breathing, we all face daily challenges and obstacles along our journey of life. What matters most is that we don’t bury ourselves in the grungy old pit and decide to spend the rest of our lives there. No matter what business ventures you decide to follow, life will continue to happen.
When life knocks you down, there are always two choices: Get up and move on or stay in that dark pit and live the rest of your life with resentment or regret. The latter will take you nowhere and things will probably get worse with time if you do not know how to dig yourself out of your own hole. I had allowed myself to live in that pit for several years before understanding that I had control over my thoughts and my life. The best option we have is to pick up the broken pieces, start moving forward again, and create a new masterpiece.
Our lives are made up of all the choices we have made so far, from our upbringing, our cultures, our friendships and relationships we have made along the way. Sometimes, things happen that are out of our control, but for the most part, our lives are the answers to a series of decisions that “we” have made, and can make for the future. We are responsible for most of the outcomes because they are results of the decisions we make every day.
Again, Life will continue to happen. No matter how happy or successful a person looks on the outside, there is always a story or a set of challenges he or she faces or has faced in the past. What makes people stand out is how they overcome their challenges and consciously choose to stay positive. This is something I am learning to master daily. What makes them different to the rest of the crowd is their attitude toward life. Your attitude towards any situation is essential, and at times determines the outcome.
If you are going through a rough patch and need some motivation, I got you boo! Here are some tips to help you get through it and push forward:
- Remove yourself from toxic situations
This is crucial in personal development. If you’re constantly in a rut, and you’re surrounded by people who can’t provide insight or solutions to help you get back on track, you need to find a new tribe beloved. Your tribe should a reflection of light and life. Surrounding yourself with positive influences are essential to maintaining that happiness. If a person is not contributing positively to your life spiritually, emotionally, or financially, you should re-evaluate your relationship with that person.
I can admit, I am a giver, and at times have given so much of myself to others that I had nothing left to give to myself. I had to find a tribe that was equally as giving. It takes time and you have to nurture those relationships as well.
- Get back to your own happiness: self-care
Whenever I am feeling down about anything, or just need some time to assess a few things, I find ways to re-align myself. From buying a new book that will help speak more life into me, to getting a simple manicure or pedicure. I make sure to do things that keep me at peace and not too much in my mind to allow any negative thinking. I have become adaptive to having a “solution” oriented mindset. I allow myself to feel down, get all up in my feelings, may cry a little, but then tomorrow is a new day. Do not allow your thoughts of negativity to dwell on for days at a time; learn to find solutions and get to work on them.
- Create daily habits
I have learned to create a routine for myself that keeps me on track of my goals, daily tasks, and agendas with clients and business partners. I also create daily habits that help me set the tone of my day. I start each morning with personal development audio, a quick prayer, and a healthy breakfast. I can’t function without a healthy meal in my body. I wake up extremely early, and my mind/body has adapted to it all. No matter where I am, or what is going on in my life, I make sure to keep my routine intact. Of course I’m not perfect, and you know no one is, but the beauty of this is that you can always jump right back into a routine, or start creating one.
- Don’t let your problems become your identity
Your problems are not your identity. You should never let your circumstances define you or your future. A simple routine, a simple change in your mindset each day can help you create the lifestyle you desire over time. The only thing you have to do is: BE CONSISTENT! We all have a past, we all have done things we are not proud of, but none of that has power over you if you allow it. You can always make a change, and the beauty of life is that we all have a choice to want more and to be more.
I used to always complain about my past life, about my past mistakes and never thought I would become the person I was today. It took a lot of growth, a lot of tears, a lot of forgiving. This is something I battle with each day, because life always has a funny way of reminding you about your past. You can become triggered by anything if you let the situation control you and your mind. You have to learn to develop a mindset that is powerful enough to help tame that beast within.
In the end, you’ll realize how much power you really have over situations. You can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can certainly control how you choose to react to it.
- Feed your mind
Learn to feed your mind with positive thinking and you will feed your soul. I make sure to listen audio books that are filled with motivation, and the next thing, (which you may look at me sideways), but I do not listen to anyone I would not trade life with. Everyone has an opinion and most times people will tell you what you need to hear. However, I make sure to listen to opinions very wisely. Even though I am a student of life, I can learn from anyone to a homeless person, to PhD holders, we all have some sort of life advice. My only advice is to be mindful of the words that you feed your mind.
- Seek help from others
Seeking help from others isn’t always ideal or easy to do. This is coming from a person that use to wait until I’m in more of a mess than I was, to even ask for help. I use to let situations get so terribly bad before I can muster up the strength to ask for help. But here’s the thing, the tribe which I mentioned before are the ones that can provide that assistance and guidance, and there shouldn’t be any fears to seek the help that you desire.
- Let Go!
Forgiveness is the beginning of new things. Sometimes easier said than done, you have to learn to let it go! Let go of the past hurt, let go of any and everyone who has wronged you. One of my mottos: “Sometimes what people do and how they treat you have nothing to do with you.” I repeat that to myself whenever I am confronted with a situation, issue (or person) that I cannot solve or handle at the moment. I’ve learn to let it go, and regain control of what I can. More blessings will come when you forgive. More blessings will come when you cleanse your mind and heart. I’ve also learn to look at everything in life as some form of blessing or lesson.
I use to be the type to harbor all ill feelings and constantly thing of ways to scorn a person back. Maybe it’s the scorpion in me (I’ve changed beloved), but the hate use to be deep with me. I cannot stand that word “hate” any more, but I was once there. I had to learn to control who I was as a person. How?! Lots of prayers, taking mental breaks from stress, taking mental breaks from life (my days off game is serious), learn to be more kind to myself which in turn lead me to be more kind to others, give back to others through community services, connecting with organizations that are about bringing change, connect with people who show you how to live life more, and most importantly, create a vision board. I can talk about this more at a later time, but if you want to bring about change, you must create a vision for yourself.
You have to learn to be resilient. You can’t solve a problem with the same mindset that created it. You can’t push back your happiness while in the process of growing. The reality of this is that we are all battling something in our lives, no matter where in life you may find yourself. You may not be where you want to be in life, but ask yourself, what are you doing to make your life better each day?
Call to action: Take charge of your life. Live life in your own terms. Realize what you need to fix in your life, write them down and make changes one day at a time.
What are some ways have you learned to bounce back when life knocks you down? Share with me below!